Well you asked for it. And we listened. Colonel Mustard has been sectioned.
He didn’t go quietly mind you. His residential area known as Bennyhill (who’s housing value has rose substantially since his removal) had to endure the foul mouth tirade as Mustard, 86, was seen being escorted into the back of an ambulance fully restrained.
Local wildlife, children’s laughter and the return of the local street party extravaganza have all since returned. Many now no longer living in the fear of being accosted by Mustard and made to read his blog – which he still insists from his straight jacket is nothing more than “match reports”.
Stand ins Hugh Jardon and Wayne Kerr report from the hallow narrow turf of Winchcombe as Worcester Development XI visit Bayshill looking for their third win on the bounce.
Prior to the match Wayne Kerr heard from one of his “sources” that one of the selection committee, (who shall remain anonymous) attempted to recruit Benny Howell for Sunday’s match.
An invitation of such magnitude, as you can imagine cannot go unnoticed. Howell, keen as mustard (other condiments encouraged) was willing to turn out. However, the lifelong Bayshill fan unfortunately had to be disappointed, as an XI was already selected.
Now onto the game.
A sunny September Sunday. Clear blue skies with a magnitude of birds of many different plumages circled the picturesque Winchcombe venue – All pigeons.
Worcester arrived donning their dark green and black shirts eagerly awaiting to play the mighty bays.
Captain’s huddled, and Worcester elected to bat first in a 35 over contest.
The Harding’s opened the bowling, Michael unusually bowling down the hill provided an ever consistent line with ample away swing. He was unfortunate to not take a wicket having two dropped off him in consecutive balls.
Alex, at the other end provided good support with the new ball and got the first break through. Getting opener Press out for an aggressive 28. The ball was hit high to deep mid on, Tom Liley took the catch cleanly. His 100th catch for the Bays. Congrats Tom! Shame you dropped the 101st!
Worcester continued their aggressive approach with fine displays of power hitting. Pinefield getting to 52 very quickly before sportingly retiring. (11 fours and one six). Bayshill bowlers breathed a sigh of relief as their economy rates they treasure so dearly only half ruined.
Veteran bowler Paul “Soggy” Saunders took the next wicket. Tricking opener Flood with an uncharacteristically wide delivery. A fine edge and a sharp catch by stand in and star wicket keeper Alex Van Dyke. Many confused Alex for Jack Russell today (mainly as he’s barking mad). If any regular keepers are reading this, it’s worth noting there were only 3 byes in the whole innings on a very tricky pitch. Very impressive stuff, but I won’t mention the missed stumpings.
Worcester marched on with their lower middle order all contributing and posted a total 217 in their 35 overs. Alex Harding, Tom Liley, Paul Sanders, Colin Harding, and Adrian Pierce each taking a wicket.
Colin Victor Hugo Percival Montgomery Harding the fourth was the pick of the bowlers with tidy figures of 5 overs 1 wicket for 21 runs. He strutted off the pitch, chest puffed out, showing his two sons he still has it. Unfortunately for him they didn’t notice as a share bag as red hot doritoes was deemed more important than their fathers pride.
With the sun beating down, tea being enjoyed. (no twiglets again and worse no cheese board) Music began being blasting out, making little old Winchcombe akin to the Hollies Stand at Edgebaston.
The batting line up decided. Skipper Nobby, in a jovial mood picking the order without being rushed mid sandwich. He opened with Sean Price. The pair put on a notable opening stand of 50 before Price (10) was bowled by Thorpe. Pierce (34) then fell shortly after, being bowled by the impressive Mahmud who’s aggressive off breaks caused the bays many a problem.
Worcester sensing the game was there for the taking set an aggressive field to pressurise AVD and Liley both now at the crease.
AVD fell, to a delivery that not many would keep out, and then Soggy was the next victim of Mahmud. A sharp spinning delivery pitching outside leg stump before hitting off. Liley pushed on steadily with Michael and then Colin Harding. Both hitting two magnificent 4s each
In the mean time Tom starting picking up the pace reaching his 50 off 39 balls. Worcester getting uneasy as the high run rate was being kept within reach.
A barrage of fours, sixes and a few more wickets meant bays had one wicket left going into the final over.
Tom needing 12 off the final over for his maiden century. A four and a six off the first two balls had the crowd going crazy with only two needed. Unfortunately the only person who didn’t know what Tom was on was Tom himself as he elected to take a single off the third ball. The crowd now abusing Tom, and enlightening him on what he had just done.
No fear though, as the man at the other end was no other than Sloop John B himself, who knows this ground better than anyone else. A neat single whilst hoisting up the sail and Tom was back on strike. After the game, when asked how nervous he was on 99, the response was he wasn’t. But the perpetual thought of “don’t f**k this is” was going through his mind repeatedly as the bowler ran in.
Fortunately for the rapturous crowd, Tom found a gap in the offside and scampered for the decisive single for his maiden century. His second 100th accolade of the match. Quite the day for Tom.
It is worth mentioning that when recounting the score, Tom had already brought up his 100 with his final six. But the dramatic end was quintessentially Bayshill.
Bayshill ended 20 shy of Worcester’s score but good spirits was shared by all as many a G&T, beers and lagers were enjoyed.
Good game all, Northleach next week with possibly the return of Mustard. We’ve heard he’s already escaped with the assistance from Jarvo. He is now on the loose in the Lake District in only his white fronts. Not much change there then
Worcester Development XI. 217 for 6.
O. Press 28
J. Flood 24
T. Pinefield 52 retired
H. Hildreth 31*
G. Heywood 33
E. Owen 30*
C Harding 5/0/21/1
Bayshill CC 197 for 9
A Pierce 34 off 38. (7 fours)
T Liley 103* off 65 balls. (17 fours 3 sixes)
A Mahmud 7/1/27/3
T Pinefield 3/0/2/2
T Thorpe 5/0/20/2