Colonel Mustard is shocked to be back so soon and to boot, to be writing our first match report for the indoor season.
Having given my irresponsible and lazy leg, frequent and intense thrashings with my silver tipped walking stick I feel I’m ready to impart noteworthy cricketing events to you the dear reader. Now the silver, as I’m pleased you’ll consider, is hall-marked all right and as I’m sure you’ll also be delighted to know that the last thrashing was undertaken on none other than a waxing moon. Yes, my learned friend, I’m sure you’re well aware that the important things in life should always be carried out when the moon is on the increase and not when on the wane. On the evening of the Bays’ first indoor match the moon was 12.7 days old and in a waxing gibbous phase. ‘Gibbous,’ I hear you cry, well yes, it is from the Latin word gibbosus, meaning hump-backed, used in the fourteenth century. On the night of the Bays game against Birdlip our silver-faced friend was riding low in the sky, jousting with the clouds that had the effrontery to cover his smile as he moved towards the full glory of a Hunter’s Moon. Don’t dare doubt me now!
Captain Horner naturally won the toss and put Birdlip into bat for their 12 overs. Holder and Jacques opened steadily, if rather slowly. Only the keenest of sight or indeed gimlet-eyed could have coped with the inadequate lighting in Prince William’s hall. Sadly, the dimly lit bowlers’ end, has been thus, for well over a year now. Prices have verily increased as expected, but the facilities have not. This is not a criticism of the indoor league at all, but instead is levelled at the management of the Leisure Centre, who are letting down all the cricketers in the four divisions, as well as indoor footballers, badminton players and others who use the hall. It might be prudent to have the lighting repaired before anyone happens to be injured and as a consequence may feel the need to seek compensation. Tonight, one player was injured by the ball, but not the writer considers as a result of the poor lighting. If he had been fielding further back in the hall, it might have been a determining factor though.
Fran, donning the gauntlets behind the sticks in the absence of Steve Liley, as he later admitted, struggled at first to ‘pick the ball’ out from the gloom behind the bowler. (nb Prince of Wales management) Guthrie only went for 7 in the first over, with 4 of those coming from wides down the leg, that cannoned furiously into the back wall. Rai not to be outdone had six taken off his first over, but just the one from the bat. Van Dyke decidedly unBertie-like went for 8 and guest player Cueto for just 5.
27 posted off the first four by Birdlip, with the Bays seemingly in control. Alex Van Dyke and Cueto bowled the next four, the score having risen to 60 off the first eight and no wickets down and rather strangely, just the one retiree, that of Jacques who got there from 29 deliveries. Rai then went for just six in the next over, before the first wicket was to fall, a stumping by Fran, off paceman Guthrie no less. No one here would dare to mention the previous ball, which could have had exactly the same result as the one just reported on immediately afterwards. Birdlip suddenly sprang into life with the help of some wild Bays’ fielding that could easily have removed two more batsmen, instead of quite a few more runs. However, Guthrie still had time to run out Haycox and Stirrup ran out Bidmean with a venomous throw at the sticks from about 2 yards. Blackburn however picked up the gauntlet
(not one of Fran’s) and smashed a six and four before the end, retiring on 21 not out. The last two overs yielded 31 runs, meaning Birdlip had passed the hundred with three more. Bays were strangely generous with their extras, giving away 29 in total, with 25 wides.
In reply, the Bays got off to the worst possible start, with Horner caught second ball off Burt. The batsman left the playing area complaining that he couldn’t see the ball. (nb PoW management) Rai and Strirrup batted with the assurity experience gives. Adi (having been presented with his Indoor Bowling Trophy from last year on Sunday) retired on 25 off just 14 including three 4s. Stirrup slightly more sedate turned the match though by blasting a thunderbolt Thor-like at Hancox. Well, Hancox left for A&E with a dislocated and split finger.
At this point 39 off 4 had slowed to 59 off 7. The impact of this blow, could be worked out at the end. Guthrie went c&b for 21 off 19 and Cueto was unlucky to be stumped off a wide down the legside. Van Dyke now batting with Stirrup helped wrap things up with a quick 10 off six. Stirrup finished on 32 not out off 27 with three 4s.
The Bays had won with 4 balls to spare against just the five fielders for most of their innings. Would they have been more aggressive against six? Who can tell?
Naturally drinks were had in the Rotunda after, but no one had the audacity to mention the splendid moon seen earlier or the fact that it’s better to win on a waxing moon than lose. Three of the evening’s players quaffed away merrily, with The Chairman, The WebSite Supremo and injured Keeper.