Bayshill Lose Their Way Again!

After some serious thought and a little help from a bottle of vintage Brain Splitter 33, Colonel Mustard shakes an interesting display array of nasal hairs and assorted dandruff flakes from his gargantuan tweed trousers, sits up straight as an ironing board as though in the howdah and inks his feather of choice.

Zulus on Aggie? What in the name of Jeremy Clarkson are you blithering on about? And being stalked by George Clooney or was it Benedict Cabbage Patch? I wonder at times what it going on in the minds of some of the Bays tourists, by crikey! Some of the Bays players must have succumbed to too many sherberts in The Mermaid methinks.

With the Supper Boat cancelled due to horrific weather conditions, that prevented eating an evening meal on St. Agnes, the mighty Bays had to have a specially reinforced weather-proofed boat to get them all back to St. Mary’s. Day trippers were instructed that no boat would be there to bring them back at 9pm that evening due to the monsoon rain moving in, meaning that The Turk’s Head, would have no potential evening customers, who happened to be based on St. Mary’s. The time of the Bays’ special boat back was 9pm! Thank goodness after this decision, we were all allowed in the pub after the match, even though we were returning on a special boat and not the Supper Boat. It makes you wonder what the pub would have thought, if it had known that our cricket team had deprived them of wealthy diners from the main island. They may sue if they find out, so dear reader, keep schtum! It is of course possible that all the team’s pasties, ordered on the day, may have been cancelled as well, as only people on the Supper Boat are allowed to eat I’ve heard. Well, we got away with it, dear reader and fivers were electronically thrown at the pub’s bank account.

Bayshill won the toss and decided to bat on a wicket that from experience needs at least 180 runs to be in contention. After nine overs the Bays were on just 52 before they lost their first wicket. The Very Reverend Chrissos uncharacteristically went for just 11 off 25 with the score on 57, bowled by Gavin. Fran at the other end was faring better, before being adjudged LBW for 53 off 39, with 6 fours and two big ones. Tom (bowled) and Steve Liley (dubiously caught behind) made just 3 and 1 respectfully, before Toffee Crisp Man made 17 not out off 27 with Paul Soggy Saunders amassing six* from 10.

Too slow I say! Only 22 runs in the eight overs from 11 to 17. What do I know? Better to have a thrash and be all out I say! Again 5 batters unused and only 101 on the score.

In the field, the Bays worked hard. Guest American player Dave Hubson made the game his own, fielding Trumplike! Paul Soggy Saunders, suddenly bowling a good line, had Tim LBW for 10. Tom The Archbishop Liley should have had Sam Hicks caught behind, but the relatively easy chance was put down. The keeper thought it may well have lost the match for the Bays and he may well have been right in his assessment.

Sam went on to make 47, and Aggy Tom 31, after Paul had bowled both Mark for 1 and Gavin for 9. St. Agnes had the game won, by half way through the 17th over, with 102 on the board.

Highlights of the match from Bay’s perspective were the innings of Fran Stirrup (53), Paul’s bowling of 3/27 and once again Tom’s four overs for just 9 runs. Jamie Liley’s three overs for 17 also merits a mention, as does the Bays players who yet again played without batting or bowling. Adrian Liley, Olly Joris, Martin Van Dyke and Dave (Born in the USA) Hubson we salute you.

Bayshill 101/4

Horner C 11 21 0 0

Stirrup F 53 39 6 2

Wayman C 17* 27 2 0

Gavin 3/0/21/1, 2/1/2/1, Austin 2/0/7/1,

St. Agnes 102/4

S Hicks 47, Tom 31

Liley T 4 0 9 0

Saunders P 4 0 27 3

Stirrup F 4 0 34 0

Liley J 3 0 17 0

Liley S 1 0 14 0

Horner C 0.3 0 6 0