Match report by Colonel Mustard (OBE, 1 GCSE, called the bar – many of them)
Poulton CC out-smarted Bayshill by winning the toss and electing to bat. The pitch still damp, responded well to a game of 40 over cricket and at the end still resembled such a sporting arena, unlike the chocolate mousse Bayshill played on a couple of weeks ago. (Other desserts are available)
Poulton made sure and steady progress, Meredith anchoring the innings with a cultured 54. He fell to the schoolmasterly guile of Steve Pritchard’s bowling. Steve later running out Bryant, to prove he hadn’t fallen asleep due to too much marking.
Poulton should be commended for playing a host of younger players and putting them high up the batting order to gain match experience ??. Saunders (Bayshill all-time leading wicket taker) was the pick of the bowlers, taking 4 for 15 – concentrating on Poulton’s more dangerous batsmen. Musty made a creditable 41 and Lawrence 23. Jamie Liley took his first Bayshill wicket – McLeod snaffling the catch to secure this important moment. Jamie was clapped from the field by his fellow players at the break.
In reply, Bayshill leapt from the traps like doped (mustard fuelled) Greyhounds! Horner leading the charge with a brisk and entertaining 62 off 39. This included 2 big sixes & 8 fours. The opening partnership of 72 only broken by Chris retiring to allow others the chance of a bat and him, to immerse himself in Abbot Ale. Pritchard hit 34 at about a run a ball before falling to a great catch. Van Dyke hit 29 off around the same with a large 6 decorating his innings like a cherry atop a quality trifle. Tom and Steve Liley then steered the Bayshill home with an unbroken partnership of 23 to 168, against some tricky bowling, most from 17 yards!
Poulton managed to & should be commended for using 12 bowlers, which I think may be record in a single match.
Poulton 167/10 Meredith 54, Musty 41, Lawrence 23.
Saunders 8/2/15/4
Liley J 4/0/13/1
Tom Liley 2 catches.
McLeod 2 catches.
Bayshill 168/4
Horner 62* off 39,8 fours & 2 sixes.
Pritchard 34/34,6&0
Van Dyke 29/28,2&1
?
Extra extraordinary report:
Great Dot Controversy by Herman Essex.
The record which has attracted most attention this season at Bayshill CC is none other than dots achieved at the beginning of an innings. The record for many years was stuck on 17, until Sean Price wrestled it up to an Alpine 24. His record sadly only lasted a single week, before Steve Liley raised the bar to an incredible Himalayan 32. (After which he was inaugurated into the Bayshill Hall of Fame – to which he said, ‘Cor blimey guv look at ‘Em dots)
Now, however, his record has been controversially snatched away from him at the ruling of the Bayshill statistics committee (aka Bayshill Virtual Pipe Smokers Club).
The brief statement read outside Bayshill House by a representative of the club went thus:
“The dot ruling has never been verified and sanctioned by the Bayshill CC, due to the fact it doesn’t need to be.
However, this now needs to change in light of Sean Price’s racy 12 dot balls at the start of his innings against Poulton CC on 30/5/21.
His previous innings of 24 dots ended with him being caught out – another dot for 0 runs.
Therefore, his second innings should be attached to the first of 24.” – statement concludes.
Liley’s record of 32, has by effect, been bettered by 4. The new record holder Price (36 dots from the start of an innings / 2 in this case now) was unavailable for comment. Naturally, his entrance into the Bayshill Hall of Fame is inevitable.
Liley, smarting from the ruling, said, ‘I’m sick as a parrot (Norwegian Blue) and don’t know how they could do this to me. I’m going to the High Court to get an Injunction – they can’t get away with this sort of thing.’
It was later confirmed Price’s new record of Olympus Mons like 36 stands.