It can now be revealed that this organ’s cricket specialist writer, Ivor Hugh J Thurston has been removed from his role and stripped of all duties, regarding reporting on Bayshill CC. This decision, although not undertaken lightly, has been made due to gross reporting errors in his last contribution. A spokesman, standing outside Bayshill House said, ‘He will not be returning, due to first, the return to rude-health of the colonel, that is, Colonel Mustard. Second, in line with business management thinking of companies, such as P&O and the forward looking airline industry, he is simply not needed by us and therefore has had his contract rescinded permanently, forthwith. He is though, to be thoroughly debriefed by Corporal Punishment and taught the meaning of hubris in no uncertain terms. Also, there are the considerable damages sought by a Bayshill player to consider, whose exploits were not acknowledged at a level, to his liking. The club’s somewhat distressed insurance company, has failed to comment at this time. If the Colonel becomes unwell again , or goes missing (as he did once in a public lavatory), then we will make a decision at that time.’
‘In order to put things right,’ the spokesman continued, ‘ahem, Pritchard S Esq is to have his bowling efforts published in full, thereby ensuring his complete and utter satisfaction. It can be revealed here today, that on the alley of The Somerset Arms on Wednesday evening at 9pm, Mr Pritchard scored exactly 28. Not a skittle more, not a skittle less. We hope this is an end to any legal action that he may have been considering taking.
We repeat. Mr Pritchard scored a solid 28. Well done to him! All of the club celebrate his personal best!
Moving on to cricket matters, Colonel Mustard is delighted to be back in the saddle, which incidentally, is not a good place for any writer hoping to wield a goose quill in anger. The Colonel you will be pleased to learn, dear reader, has had his release from Lamport Hall Sanatorium rubber-stamped by the Lampy theGarden Gnome. Mustard ‘escaped’ in full disguise and is now hiding in plain view, in a garden near you.
Cricket, ah yes, I remember that, back in the Halcyon days, when players oiled their own bats with glee, knocked ’em in over a couple of weeks with a ball in a sock and were forced after all this effort, to apply their own rubbers. Simpler times they were, but times, when a man could order a pint of bitter, without the barman or barmaid thinking he was off his chump. The platinum jubilee weekend is upon us and The Bays is once more looking to strut its stuff; blue, red and white stuff at that, on Sunday. Now I’ll let you into a little secret. Bays supporters have been seen hob-nobbing with her majesty this weekend and on top of this, a number of Bays players were in attendance at Cheltenham College to see the 2nds of our county, out-gun Somerset on Thursday from midday. It seems you can’t keep the Bays down.
So as I said dear reader to the cricket without further platinum-plated nonsense. Nobby lost the toss and the Bays were in the field, with a ball that could be described as a concrete Jaffa. Wet and damp were the team and the weather as well.
After 14 overs Gotherington had amassed 47 runs and the Bays were happy with the containment of the bowling. The first wicket was to fall though, (Prinsloo 30) with Steve bowling and Steve catching. Pritchard with ball in hand and Liley with ball clasped to stomach. A sharp catch if I may say! (Bowling wasn’t bad either)
A further 14 runs were added before Saunders bowled Marasanghe for 18. Mallory on the ascendance went for 14 with the score up to 78. Burgess then went for a quacker bowled Saunders again. After this with no further runs added, Steve Liley caught Sinclair diving down the leg side one-handed off Michael Harding. Michael then removed Sharp for 10, with the score on 80.
Gotherington progressed steadily, with wickets falling equally apace. Tom Liley caught Mumford off Colin Harding, whilst Alex Van Dyke took a corker just inside the boundary rope at deep cow corner off Alex Harding’s bowling.
Michael Harding and Paul Saunders dismissing 3 each, with Colin Harding taking 2, Alex Harding 1 and not to be forgotten Steve Pritchard 1 as well.
Tea was had during the drizzle. I’m not mentioning Abbot Ale again as that would be boring!
The Bays ascent was not anything that Mallory would have envisaged (1.1/1/0/1), with Shakespeare writing his own script, finishing with 4/2/6/2. Hastings battled on for 13/2 and Michael Johnson sprinted to 6 for 2. Gotherington’s team clearly full on different talents.
The Bays meanwhile amassed a measly 38 all out, including 7 extras. Only Angus Guthrie did himself some credit with the top score of 9.
Bayshill played in the right spirit on the whole, but were overcome by a team wanting to finish higher in the division. (Hang on we’re not playing league cricket – censor that bit, it might offend)
Gotherington 140/10
Prinsloo 30, Marasanghe 18, Shakespeare 18.
Harding M 6/1/42/3
Saunders P 6/0/19/3
Harding C 4/0/15/2
Catches: Liley S 2, Liley T 1, Van Dyke A 1.
Bayshill 38/10
Guthrie A 9
Shakespeare 4/2/6/2, Hastings 5/0/13/2, Mumford 5/0/6/3, Johnson 3/0/6/2, Mallory 1.1/1/0/1