Colonel Mustard returns on his uppers to fire off some perfidious gems of wisdom (nothing to do with Mr. Grimsdale I hasten to add) nor Wisden either. (The most kind offer of Michael Vaughan to write tonight’s match report or indeed play this evening, due to unexpected availability was turned down by the Bays’ selection committee. The liberal and enlightened views and indeed sombre tones of Mustard were considered far safer and more reflective of such a youthful and welcoming all-inclusive club.)
In cricketing circles, dear old Leonid was all the talk this week, which is unfortunate, because the mighty Bays were playing indoors at 7.30 on the Wednesday, the anniversary of his passing. The exact year his clogs popped, strangely coincided with the founding of the mighty Bayshill CC. Cricketing experts (mostly listeners and followers of Nirvana) past and present have long argued over whether a single human being can reincarnate into a complete cricket team. This profound question cannot so be easily answered this side of the Vikings’ Rainbow Bridge of Bifrost I deem…
Now, old Leonid’s impact on the game of cricket is truly incalculable and that is how it should and has to be left. Pope Paul III, a lightweight in comparison also shuffled of his mortal coil on the same day, but that was in 1549 a couple of years before the liberal minded Sir Geoffrey picked up his stick of forced rhubarb in anger.
A full minute’s silence was deferentially observed before the game, as umpires and players of both sides stood stock still, resplendent in armbands of black silk, whilst doffing their beaver skin red-starred Russian hats, as sombre marks of respect.
And so, the game began with the Bays brandishing their Salix Alba Caerulea. Captain Horner and Fran Stirrup pushed the score to 41 before the latter was bowled for 17. Chris was joined by Tom Liley who went for 10 off 5, before Alex (beetle expert) went for a golden quacker – clean bowled. Chris now back in balcony, having retired on 25, was seen sinking a quick couple of pints of Abbot. Adi Rai and Steve Liley pushed the score onwards to 84 before Adi was caught blasting for the back wall for 18. Horner rejoined the fray to move to 31 before also being caught. Steve Liley was run out on the last ball of the innings on 20 off 17, with the score on 102.
In the field the Bays were Kitchen Devil sharp, compared with the previous week, when they were as blunt as glacier’s snout. B&B were rocked when opener Shetty was caught by Tom Liley off Adi’s bowling and Holder run out by Alex (the beetle man) Van Dyke for a Diamond Duck, with the score on just 4. Tom Liley (Hawaiian shirt collector) and Chris (VPno2) both had run outs – all run outs from accurate throws to the keeper’s grateful gloves. With B&B faltering, Tom Liley had Niazi stumped briskly by Steve Liley (VPno1) with the score on trombones (76). Bradley Jacques was not out 44 off 37 at the end with B&B’s score 12 short of the Bays! Closer than the mighty Bays would have liked, but after the tumble of wickets in the middle order a good result.
Once again the Rotunda provided the venue for post match drinks and celebrations. All Russian hats and red stars now long forgotten. In fact I doubt if many players even remember any of the earlier details provided. Such are the minds of cricketers…