The season of cricket has been thrust upon us all once more, whether we like it or whether we do not. The Bayshill’s very own roving reporter is once more awakened from slumbers within a deep and chill hibernation that has lasted the full distance from the last indoor match until this very moment in time or rebirth as some more of the whimsical would have it. Colonel Mustard my dear fellows is here once more. In his own words, ‘Back with a Bang!’
When I awoke this very morning after a mere nine hours of the dreamless and tried from the off, to push forcibly the old cranium into first gear, there was the sudden grating, clutchless realisation that the Bayshill Cricket Club were on the field of play today. I felt and I feel I need to share this with you, as though I’d been hit with a splendidly well-thrown brick (not a player) to the occipital.
Now as the avid and faithful readers of this electronic Bayshill organ no doubt know, I don’t like to hang about with nonsensical frivolity, but crack on with the cricket. If I let the little grey cells become agitated, I’ll soon be knee-deep in the bisque with the website supremo, will tick me off with no little vim. He can curse better than the best of them, which linguistically seems impossible, but I tell you he can. So here and now, I asseverate solemnly not to leave the straight and narrow from now on and indeed palter with the truth in any way that will damage the reputation of any of the players or indeed any hangers on.
As the attached cricketing themed photographs show, the old Bayshill Cricket Club has as much life in it, as the primeval soup, which David Attenborough seems so keen on. The Goblin Tree Appreciation Society goes from strength to strength with conclusive proof the little so and sos are out and about in greater numbers than ever. Also, the Belgium Beer afficianados of the club have been over the briny to visit said country to drink the stuff in het vats (buckets). Fund raising for a team coach is now concluded and the smart coach stands proudly at the rear of Bayshill House waiting for its first venture. But enough, to the cricket…
Down Hatherley won the toss and decided to put themselves into bat in this 20X fixture. Angus Guthrie and Tom Liley (wearing black trainers and not his new boots) opened the season’s bowling for the Bays, although both have regularly opened in the Indoor League. After six overs the score had climbed to 31, with Angus going for 16 and Tom just 13. A couple of chances were put down in the early part of the match, but the writer in a keen display of diplomacy draws a discreet veil over these. (And to protect any mistakes of his…)
Paul Saunders and Steve Twine (on Bays debut) bowled the next eight with the score up to 79. There were a couple more mistakes in the field, but even so Twine captured his first two wickets for the club, one a catch taken looking into the sun, by Alex Van Dyke and another clean-bowled. Bays’ keeper, Steve L back from injury was left a little bemused (madder than a wet hen) after taking a catch standing up off Steve T that was not given. The batsman, clearly a man of mirth tried to convince those nearby that it was bat and pad. It is best left there as the runs he went to score made the difference in this friendly game.
Beth Pritchard and Alex Van Dyke (wearing black trainers) wrapped up the last six overs, bowling three each and respectively going for 38 and 27. Down Hatherly finished on one gross – 144.
After a quick turnaround, the Bays were batting once more in the sunshine if slightly windy conditions. A buzzard made a sulky flypast disappearing over the pavilion not to return. Norbert the Nobster aka Pierce A and Fran Stirrup began the ascent on the gross score. Pierce batting without his golf ‘buddy’ Chrissos Horner went for just the seven in the second over, out to Brick, whilst Fran who was accumulating his runs at a rate of just less than one per ball ended on 30 not out and retired. Katie Guthrie joined Fran after Nobby’s departure and began to build the innings. Katie departed after 12 overs, bowled by Cripps with the score up to 61.
Steve Pritchard the captain and well-known head teacher at the local Dotheboys Hall, wearing trousers with an extra unsolicited hole in (which he seemed for reasons unknown very proud of), joined Katie for a brief innings of 2 off 9 caught by the flying Brick off O’Brian. The score was now 86 off 15 with still 58 needed. Tom Liley injected a bit of life into the game with 14 off three, including a six that plugged just over the square leg boundary and then two fours. He finished on 24 not out, whilst Alex at the other end, not to be out done smacked 5 fours in a 25 ball innings. The Bays were up to 117, but the overs had run out, as they tend to.
The captain gritted his teeth reservedly, whilst a weaker man would have gnashed them. The Bays aren’t used to losing so early in the season, mainly due to the fact we don’t play due to rain, flooding and generally unhelpful precipitation. The bar provided the revitalising necessities, but the team wasn’t licked to a splinter, so there was no need for self-flagellation of any description. The players buzzed for the gate of car park, like a pack of mustang to speed wildly to The House in The Tree for further restoratives and bracers. Next week will be here soon enough.
Colonel Mustard signs off in high and mettlesome spirits.