Colonel Mustard, recently released from Lamport Hall High Security Sanatorium, after a prolonged and somewhat nasty case of the vapours, is delighted to be now in a position to report on the Bayshill’s latest spectacular triumph on Easter Sunday.
Well, I must start by saying that those damn blighters know how to keep a bally man down all right! Of course, I’m not referring to the fine body of men and now women, who pull on whites to represent the Mighty Bayshill, but to the hard-nosed wardens and security guards who patrol the grounds of Lamport (West Wing to be precise) Hall, day and night.
It had taken many days for me to realise that the ever vigilant ‘warden’ who leered menacingly out from the rockery, wasn’t actually engaged in security, but was in fact Lampy, the one and only, the original garden gnome. It turned out that he’d been there, leaning on his spade since 1847, I tell you! I jest not…
Now after this revelation, escape was, dare I say, as easy as could be imagined! It turned out there was in fact no security there whatsoever.
So without further procrastination, circumlocution, excessive verbosity or indeed prolixity, I move to the game itself.
Michael Harding and his younger brother Alex were given the honour of opening Bays’ bowling for 2022 and needless to say they performed well. Alex had Kamaith caught in his first over for 7, by the irrepressible Rod (I love Hibs or was is Hearts?) Macleod. Watkins had other ideas though and pushed on to make 52*, retiring with the score up to 102. Macleod now bowling, took Griffiths wicket for 27, with Chris Horner (captain and raconteur) snaffling the catch with glee. At this point, a Lesser Stag Beetle made its way determinedly across the artificial wicket and most surprisingly wasn’t spotted (that is by Alex Van Dyke).
Singh was run out by Rod Macleod, throwing the ball to Tom Liley, who then in turn had to throw to break the wicket. What fun!
Steve Pritchard sharp as ever, joined the attack and in his second over dismissed McShane for 27, with the score now at 166. Tom Liley, in his second spell and suddenly very economical, clean bowled Birchmore, smashing the bail into next Wednesday. Seagulls now created a avian whirlpool above the ground, screeching and howling and generally misbehaving. Only when they realised that sandwiches and Abbot Ale were not forthcoming, did they finally move off, somewhat forlornly. Ben Johns in the meantime carried on scoring and at the death was a creditable 37 not out. Last man out was Attwood, caught by a loping Horner to Steve Pritchard’s impressive end of innings bowling.
At tea, it was clear that the massed ranks of the Bays supporters (too many to mention individually) were expecting something special for their first ’22’ match.
Captain Horner too to the field with Charlie Worral and so the ascent of Mount Runs began. Chris started steadily, but somewhat slowly, before releasing the handbrake to start scoring freely. Two cosecutive whopping sixes took his score to 34, before he went caught in the deep, with the score on 52. Steve Pritchard (Education Secretary and knife sharpener extraordinaire) started with a racy eight dot balls, before realising it was a one day game.
After this, he raced away akin to Mick The Miller, before going for 25 off just 19, hitting four 4s and a single six, the score now 93. Worral was next to go having accumulated 22 off 52, with two fours and a six.
Alex Van Dyke and Tom Liley now moved the score to 139, before Alex Van Dyke (3 fours) went for 21 off 25. Tom echoed Alex’s innings before also going for the same, but off only 13 deliveries, with the score 151. Alec Edge then scored a quick 11 off nine, before being caught.
Now, the strange rule of day, ‘Can’t be out first ball’ came into play. Steve Liley strode out, hoping for a few lusty strokes and to trouble the scorer. The first ball arrived and he mxxxed ix, bxing clxxn bxxxxd. Still in, he faced a splendid dot, before the unmentionable happened again. A ghost golden duck some cruel and heartless wag suggested. I’ll say no more, apart from, ‘Don’t kick a man where it hurts, when he’s down!’
Moving rapidly on, Michael Harding took to the field like a man with a mission, whilst Beth Pritchard took to the field like a woman with a mission. With 40 still needed off 8 or so overs left, batters 8 & 9 took the scores level. Michael hit three and Beth four 4s. In the context of the game, this is where in many cases the Bays may well have lost. Today, Beth’s 19 off 20 and Michael’s 21 off 18 proved the difference. Michael sadly went with the scores level, before Beth fittingly hit the winning runs. Rod’s innings needs a brief mention as it was flawless – thank goodness we can all forget about his split ring.
Refreshments were quaffed in the clubhouse belonging to Charlton Kings CC, before a small army of Bays’ players and supporters and one dog, descended on The Lansdown. A great first match and a splendid victory to boot. Well done all associated with the club.
In a statement on the pavement outside Bayshill house, a spokeman confirmed that this year’s tour of The Scilly Isles would require players and supporters to don Pith helmets if at all possible. Nothing unusual there, I’m sure you’d agree.
Charlton Kings CC V Bayshill CC 17th April 2022
Charlton Kings 198/6 off 35 overs
C Watkins 52, D Griffiths 27, B Mc Shane 27, B Johns 37, 37 extras.
Harding M 7/1/23/0, Harding A 6/1/35/1, Worral C 4/0/30/0, R Macleod 6/0/46/1, T Liley 7/1/32/1, S Pritchard 5/1/13/2.
Catches: R Macleod 1 + 1 run out, C Horner 2 catches, T Liley 1 assist run out.
Bayshill 202/8 off 33.1 overs
C Horner 44/25/3fours/2sixes, C Worral 22/52/2/1, S Pritchard 25/19/4/1, A VanDyke 21/25/3/0, T Liley 21/13/4/0, B Pritchard 19/20/3/0, M Harding 21/18/4/0, 26 extras