Colonel Mustard starts the new season with a regally large scoop.
Raise your glasses for the new king my friends! The monarch has despite his fantastically busy schedule, managed to squeeze in, a new role and with it, a wholly new and prestigious title.
Bays players and their massed supporters, past and present, have the opportunity to celebrate in the Regency streets of Cheltenham town at the impending Coronation. It has been a long time in coming if truth be told, but there are many things to put in place to ensure every detail goes to plan.
Behind the scenes messages have been sent, seating plans made, general planning tweaked and rehearsals rehearsed and rehearsed again, to ensure the smallest of protocols are followed to the letter. Brigadier Humboldt no less, was drafted in by senior Bayshill officials to make sure all regal procedures are included and to ensure a military guard of a squadron of Chatham Island Guard, in full military regalia. Chin straps of their busbies adjusted to the regimental norm.
Evening entertainment after the coronation is booked up to include Adelie (booked at very short notice) with her new back-up band The Yellow Eyed Rockhoppers. Fairy’nuff, you might say, but traps and Snares always lie in wait at big occasions such as this, where Royals from other countries such as, The Galapagos, the Northern Isle of New Zealand and The Falkland Islands too, are bound to attend. Erect-crested and as smart as the dark black neck stripes of the Magellanic 7th foot regiment and indeed, the fearsome mounted Fiordland Highlanders, the many guests will assemble. Naturally, there will be thousands of public conveniences for Ladies and indeed Gents too.
Yes Bayshillians, this organ is delighted to announce that Spike The King Penguin of Birdland is to be made the first Honorary President of Bayshill Cricket Club. Delicate behind the scenes dealings have secured the services of Spike a genuine ‘A’ Lister, for at least one year in the first instance. Spike, Frank and Beryl’s little one, for those of you who have been living under a rock (not rockhopper), won the prestigious Penguin International ‘March of the Penguin Madness’ award, making him the most famous penguin and popular penguin in the world.
Well done to Spike and all at Birdland in Bourton-on-the-Water for his award. Now, Spike had added Honorary President of the Bayshill to his onerous duties and for this we are all delighted.
Delicate letters of negotiation below:
Dear Sir
Firstly, congratulations to Spike and all at Birdland on winning the prestigious Penguin Award.
I write on behalf of Bayshill Cricket Club with the hope that Spike would be happy to be Honorary President for this season.
There would be no duties for Spike, no risk assessments for him to complete and no financial commitments whatsoever.
I hope that as Spike’s representative, you would allow us to enrol Spike as our Honorary President. Naturally, Birdland would be welcome to use this title in your promotional literature. Bayshill Cricket Club in return would promote Spike and have a link on our website to advertise Birdland.
Yours in great hope and expectation,
Steve Liley
Bayshill CC – Cheltenham
Dear Steve,
We are absolutely honoured that you wish for Spike to become your honorary PRESIDENT and of course accept this post graciously.
On a more serious note, obviously now with all this added fame, SPIKE will need to run this through with his agent and wishes to waiver any exclusivity clauses you may wish to impose!!! 😊
If you have a pennant of your club badge we would be more than happy for a photo of Spike with it be taken and swifty returned to you.
You can also adopt our penguins as a club if you so wish, here’s the link – https://birdland.digitickets.co.uk/category/45429?navItem=441547
Thanks
Simon