Ivor Thurston reports on the latest Bayshill match in the Third Division of Cheltenham’s Indoor Cricket League. (Colonel Mustard is currently unavailable; he is at base camp of Mount Everest on a one man mission to climb the mountain by himself with no oxygen, no support – just normal underpants, and no climbing gear except for 2 packets of brown Quiggins Kendal Mintcake)
As Mustard is currently away, I thought I’d bring a little normality to this feature for once. I’ll start by saying that Bayshill were back to glorious winning ways! Back to back victories has the club now dreaming of a place in Europe – not to play of course, but to holiday. And this was achieved on Groundhog Day a fine long-standing American tradition. Well, I know that that is a tad contradictory as the poor U S of A is a babe in terms of countries and no history of any importance to even mention. Their Groundhog Day actually comes from pre Christian German ideas imported to America. We all know what ‘it’ means of course, but what is this strange tradition? Simple really; – wait for the first groundhog or in Germany’s case some other fluffy animal to emerge from it winter burrow. If it’s a fine day and the cuddly beast sees its own shadow, then in fear it’ll shoot back into its burrow for a further six weeks, thereby delaying the start of spring. All very technical I’m sure you’ll agree and 100% accurate (as seen on tv) – 48 of 71 women in a dental advertisement agree with this.
Completely off the point, I noticed my neighbours had put a small rodent cage by the roadside on the very day in question. My thoughts immediately spiralled out of control. Had Harold the Hamster shuffled off his mortal coil, had Gordon the Guinea Pig turned his toes up or had Brenda Bunny eaten her last carrot? Never mind this, if the groundhog delays the onset of spring, surely such a terrible harbinger of doom means something far more sinister. Could this be the portents for the Third Ice Age? (I’ll let you know next week if I’m called upon due to old Moutarde being out of the way and presumably still examining his Nepalese…)
I’ve finished with the niceties now and will crack on with the report. The date is of course irrelevant but interesting to the point of hurting. 2/2/22 – yes that’s right a palindromic number, but not really as 22/02/2022 is really the big one. Needless to say though, this looks like a good brace of Desmond’s to me and surely to the next man as well.
Chris Horner (indoor capuchinno, dancer, champagne drinker, snooker player and ‘all round’ good egg and pantomime expert – oh yes he is!) was too late for first part of the game, so Adi (batsman, bowler, fielder and stand in captain) won the toss and decided to put Cranham in to bat. Clearly, Adi knew exactly what he was doing. Horner, by now changed into his cricket gear commanded the field akin to Wellington at Waterloo. The bowling changes, the fielding placements, everything added up for once. Even having the chairman as square leg umpire seemed a ‘nice touch’ as Brenda landlady of the Bayshill Inn of old may well have said.
The game started with tight Bayshill bowling. With just 8 runs on the board Tom Hopkins was run out by Tom Liley. The score climbed slowly to 32 before Paul Frape was well caught by Fran Stirrup off Adi Rai’s bowling. Adi bowled 3 overs for just 7 runs, possibly the tightest figures returned by a Bays bowler indoors. Strickland made a creditable 30 off 20 and retired to see Cooper and James Hopkins run out by Horner and Rai respectively. 80 posted on the board with Alex Van Dyke returning figures of 15 off 3 and Tom Liley 21 off 3.
In reply, Bays made a sticky start losing both openers in the first over with the score on 7. Were the Bays in trouble? Fran Stirrup didn’t think so, moving steadily to 26 off 21 with the one four. Tom Liley made a quick 15 off 8 with one four before being caught and bowled going for a six. Alex Van made a rapid 25 off 15 with 2 fours and a six essentially ending Cranham’s hopes. Steve Liley joined Alex with quite some work to do, but Alex scored most of the required runs with Steve hitting 4 of the last 5 in over number 9. Alex duly scored the needed single to the delight of Bayshill. A good team performance all round, but special mention needed for Adi’s tight bowling 3/7/1 & Alex’s 3 overs for 15 and his 25 not out & Fran’s 26 which was the rock the innings was built upon. Once again the Lansdown provided post match entertainment. The Bays move up to third in the table!