Colonel Mustard back from his triumphant solo ascent of Everest reports from Charlie’s stadium.
When I planted Bayshill CC’s flag in the thin layer of snow on the roof of the world, I shed a tear for players past, present and future. (God only knows why, as the majority are, to put it most politely – ‘an utter shower of bastards!’) Modesty forbids me from droning on about lack of oxygen, support of any description or climbing gear in my momentous achievement, as this article is purely about cricket and not, I stress not, the tangled and grotesque furniture that constitutes my mind. Before I move onwards to the cricket, I must say that on reaching the summit of the loftiest peak on planet Earth, I followed the advice of Edmund Hillary and Sherpa Tenzing, to take a twenty minute break to recharge my batteries, have a quick pint, a virtual pipe and take the odd selfie. Indeed, the exertions and need for a pause gave the mountain its name;- ‘Ave a rest’ it is known to the locals.*
Division three of Cheltenham’s indoor cricket league is widely acknowledged as the Everest division in which the best cricket is played and where England selectors are most likely to look for innovative batting techniques and of course stars of the future.
Horner on his metal (something between zinc and tin), won the toss and put the Division 3 leaders into bat. Woodmancote Saints began solidly making around ten per over in the first three. However, things began to unravel for the division’s leaders, when Fran Stirrup ran Ben Herd out for 12, with the score on 35. Only six more were added before Fran caught Diamond for 5 off Van Dyke’s bowling. Opener Evans, two away from retirement and the score only bettered by three and on 44, went run out, this time Alex Van Dyke doing the honours. Suddenly, the Saints looked vulnerable. The industrious run rate at the start had stalled with Bays’ tight bowling throttling chances to a minimum.
Michael Morris was then also run out by Adi Rai for 9 off 10. The score was now 73. Lincoln-Gordon went for 21, caught this time by Van Dyke off Stirrup, returning the favour. With a single ball left, Fran completed the Saints’ innings by running out Watts for 9. Bayshill bowling was as steady as was possible, with three of the four bowlers returning figures of 3 overs for between 21 and 24. Glyn Bayley having the tightest figures though with 18 off 2.5 overs.
Bayshill’s batting was possibly the most assured it has been all indoor season. Horner and Rai opened, but Rai went early for a just a single run before being run out tightly, with the score on 5. The next batsman out was Steve Liley who made 3, coming in at 5 with the score on 84. In the interim Horner had reached 25 off less than 20 with two fours and retired, as indeed had Stirrup with 27/22. New Bays’ boy Bayley made 23* off 11 with three fours.
A single was added before Van Dyke was run out for one. Then with ten balls to spare Bays crossed the winning line. Horner top scored with Fran, both making 27*. A good solid performance all round with bat and ball and indeed fielding as well. Glyn is to be commended for coming into the team and performing so well with both bat and ball.
2 games left for the Bays now! having moved from two wins in five to five in eight, things are looking rosy in Bays’ garden. The Lansdown Inn once more provided the venue for post match revelry, with Abbot Ale freely flowing!
*this very poor joke is unashamedly stolen from an episode of Henry’s Cat