Important news prior to match report:
Bayshill team selection turned on its head. Bayshill were extremely grateful to Winchcombe CC who provided the extra players needed for last night’s exciting cricketorial extravaganza at Gotherington. A big thank you goes to Callum Hilliard, Mitchell Renton, C Willpenstein and Clayton D. We salute you!
In contrast, a Bayshill spokesman addressed the press outside Bayshill House with the following statement:
Ahem. Ahem. Regular team players were unavailable last night due to local meteorological conditions (3 players in the same family). There is no truth whatsoever in the unfounded rumour that one player who allegedly works for BT (or whatever they call themselves these days – probably Windscale or something) that he refused to play as he didn’t want a new App on his phone sponsoring another telecommunications provider. Go The Ring Tone CC he thought.
Lastly a high flying pedagogue in the team was unavailable due the trauma he is currently suffering due to his first beaver last night.
Statement concluded.
Off the record he said the beaver problem was particularly nasty. He added it was definitely not a Mr Pritchard – B.Ed Hons Outer Wedlock University.
Bayshill 92/10
Clayton D 26/12 2&2
Evans C 4/0/17/4
Padley 2/0/12/2
Kingswood 4/1/27/2
Gotherington 93/3
Chan M 25*
Mason 19*
Willpenstein 4/0/17/2
Hilliard 1 & Liley S 1 catch
A Midsummer Night’s Dream for Shakespeare at least
Reporter: Christopher Marlowe
Dramatis Personae:
Gotherington & Bayshill teams and 4 of Winchcombe’s finest & their supporters
Scene: Middle England somewhere on a field of green. A crepuscular evening with a swift overhead and all over the place.
Act 1
Nobster: I have tossedth and am happy!
Scorer: Cripeth not again.
Nobster: We batteth – Fetch the Horner from the playground forthwith.
Act 2
Scorer: What is the bowler’s name?
Gotherington player: Shakespeare, you know ‘im wot rote, Henry IV part 2 & Hammerlet.
Scorer: Horner hath been given out for 13. He’ll be an unhappy man!
Horner: Helleth Belleth! I have been sent forth by an umpire whose finger I would not trust on a bow.
Scorer: It matters not for Renton has entered the green. A four and a mighty six! And … oh no! And Nobby lost too.
Nobster: He hath fingered me like poor Chris. I bite my thumbs at him.
Scorer: Tis but a game!
More wickets have fallen though, but Clayton is smiting away with panacheth. Two sixes and fours. One six nearly broughteth the flying machine with a mower of the grass crashing to the ground. It troubled the celestial globes.
Spectator: Yonder machine has a cheap engine, bought from Wilco’s methinks.
Scorer: Wilco’s?
Spectator: Yes, they sell everything- even Tudory houses noweth.
Scorer: They’ll falleth down pretty sooneth.
Man from Bromley: Oh for the love of The Cobblers.
Scorer: Never mindeth that only Jamie of the Lileys has held his bat and we are all outeth for a mere 92.
Act 3
Narrator: And so Gotherington took the field.
Nobster: They scoreth too fast and only one wicket has fallen. But no, another to boot. Willpenstein has the third to a sharpeth glove dismissal!
Keeper of the sticks: Phew!
Narrator: They have passed 92 and tis all over.
Man from Bromley: But they’re six runs short.
Keeper of the sticks: Oh well , we’d have still lost. It’s a lose in the booketh.
Act IV
Deus ex machina…..
Scene: The Shuttereth Inneth
Nobster: Well ‘‘twas good that captaineth of Gotherington boughteth us all a pinteth of mindeth bending mead or ale.
Stage direction: All exit pursued by a small brown bear! ?
The End